it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
