I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
