so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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