I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As shirtless as possible
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
