I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
