somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize