I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
