I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
