i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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