I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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