The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
