She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
one two three fourrrrnication!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
well you can't waste a boner
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
