if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
