i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
