"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
