guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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