halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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