This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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