Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
