What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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