Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
