i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
