how can u be prego again
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
