i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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