I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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