My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize