his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's the barista slut.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
