you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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