dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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