I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
