Soap is not a condiment
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
