i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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