Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
