plz talk dirty to me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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