I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
