C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
