You're so nebulous sometimes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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