u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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