How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
