whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize