Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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