I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
