her vagine was all disorganized.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
how drunk are you?
Several
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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