I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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