someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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