put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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