covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
