I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
