it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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