Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
