just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize