So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
