something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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