you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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