dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
