I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
