Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
