sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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