she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
