We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
