Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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