How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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