also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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