mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think I died a long time ago.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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