Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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