I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
