I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
