So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
