This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
