Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
