she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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