how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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